One of the most unusual places I’ve toured was the island of Borneo, in Southeast Asia. Brunei and part of Malaysia are there. Before I was invited to play there I had no idea where it was. I learned that, upon arrival, I would have to go before Brunei’s Censorship Board to demonstrate that my performance and my clothing would be “appropriate”. (I am asked now and then whether I get nervous about performing. In this case the answer is a resounding YES!) Was I going to get kicked out of the Country? Then it occurred to me that it would actually be really good for my rock star credibility: “Kat Parsons – thrown out of Brunei for inappropriate behavior”! Then all my shows could be called “Kat Parsons Uncensored! What Brunei doesn’t want you to know!”. Wouldn’t that be cool? I tend to think I am a goody-goody about things (you know… got good grades, love my parents, smoking is bad), so the prospect of being expelled from an entire Country was seriously appealing to the wild side I’m always looking to explore. So then I was wondering if I should try to get kicked out?!

For the censorship board, I was told that I must wear a dress that would cover my knees, shoulders and elbows. As I’m sure you’ve noticed, my elbows DO seriously stop traffic. They are HOT. Brunei must have heard. So, of course, I wore a dress that covered my knees, shoulders, elbows and….nothing else! Ha! I showed them. Ok, really it did have a little hole in the back but it was near the top of my back and I managed to hide it with my hair. I had to provide a copy of my program, and a copy of the lyrics to every song.

When I arrived in Brunei, my hosts, the wonderful Brunei Music Society, who had helped me get ready for the Board, told me I was the “most risqué” performer they had ever hosted and that they had to change some of my lyrics. My wild side was thinking….this is so awesome! I am so edgy!! (As it turned out, they had only hosted classical instrumentalists, so it was not too hard to be more risqué than music without words. Brunei is one of the only Countries that require classical music to be censored. I asked why the Board had to hear non-vocal music, and the Society guessed that it was to make sure there was no dancing. And in fact, dance is censored in Brunei as well….no gatherings of 6 or more) I asked to see their lyrics changes, looking forward to knowing what was so risqué. I mean, how cool! I was co-writing with the Country of Brunei. Upon asking, I was told that there were “too many offensive lyrics” so they decided not to change any of them. I was alternatively proud and increasingly nervous. They HAD changed some song titles…for example Turn Me On was now called Coming Home. Depending on your mind, both could be inappropriate.

So, I showed up at the Censorship Board and because I was so nervous, I wasn’t thinking clearly. They asked me to play the first song, and in an effort to be friendly and charming, I said “only if you’ll dance!”…the worst possible thing to say at the worst time (see “no dancing allowed” above!). Thankfully, because I had no microphone, they didn’t hear me, and I was not asked to repeat myself. As I began singing, and to my great surprise and relief they were quite receptive (not counting the ones who were on their cell phones while I was singing) They requested a few songs from my repertoire including a Sting song to which they sang along. Some even brought their children and asked about my teaching them piano. As it turns out they were so very sweet and not so scary after all (See the photos below.) While I’m disappointed I wasn’t “Banned in Brunei”, I loved the opportunity to experience a way of life so very different from ours.